Every experienced marriage counselor, psychologist, and therapist has likely dealt with spousal infidelity and cheating during their career. Recently, a new term—micro-cheating—has started to be used in relationship and romance dialogue.
While married couples typically refer to full-blown extramarital affairs when they talk about cheating, micro-cheating generally does not rise to this level. Rather, micro-cheating looks like small, seemingly insignificant actions—such as constant private messages, sharing intimate secrets, or constant engagement and flirting—that point to an emotional or physical focus on someone outside the primary relationship.
How Does Micro-Cheating Differ from Traditional Cheating?
The difference between traditional cheating and micro-cheating tends to involve the scale of the actions. While the former might involve clear, unequivocal acts of infidelity, the latter includes actions that the involved parties might dismiss as harmless. However, these actions could lead to deeper emotional connections over time, the cumulative effect of which can cause significant damage to the trust and intimacy in a relationship.
Why Is Micro-Cheating Harmful?
Micro-cheating can undermine each partner’s confidence in the other and create emotional distance over time. And just like with traditional cheating, the actions involved in micro-cheating can create feelings of insecurity in the non-cheating partner, fracturing communication and severing emotional connection.
Plus, over time, micro-cheating left unchecked can escalate into more severe forms of infidelity.
Recognizing the Signs of Micro-Cheating
Because micro-cheating involves subtle and seemingly insignificant actions, non-cheating partners might find it hard to identify the signs of micro-cheating from their significant others. However, if your partner starts to engage in secretive behavior with a phone or computer, suddenly increases their attention to physical appearance, or changes their social media activity, you may want to engage in an open and honest conversation about boundaries and expectations in your relationship.
Addressing Micro-Cheating in Your Relationship
Because accusations can lead to further harm and defensiveness, you need to approach the topic delicately if you suspect your partner of micro-cheating. Focus on expressing your feelings and concerns, and articulate what behaviors make you uncomfortable and why. The sooner you establish clear boundaries and expectations, the sooner you can address any instances of micro-cheating and strengthen your relationship.
What Are My Legal Options for Micro-Cheating?
Unfortunately, the issues that come from micro-cheating can sometimes result in the breakdown of a marriage. New Jersey recognizes fault and no-fault grounds for divorce; ensure that you document all instances of micro-cheating and their effect on your marriage, consider all possible courses of action—including counseling and therapy—and consult with an experienced divorce attorney.
Speak With the Toms River Divorce Lawyers at Zeigler Law Group, LLC
If you need to discuss your legal options, contact the Toms River divorce lawyers at Zeigler Law Group, LLC. Call us at 732-361-4827 or fill out our online contact form for a free consultation. Our offices in Toms River, Red Bank, Princeton, and Mount Laurel, New Jersey serve clients throughout Ocean County, Monmouth County, Mercer County, and Burlington County.